As a man, what are your weaknesses? True manhood goes beyond the physical, embracing family responsibilities like providing with security, nurturing and service, and maybe even the thrill of fantasy football drafting. Dave & Meg Robbins teach us what it means to be a good man. 

Show Notes and Resources

Want to hear more episodes by David and Meg Robbins, listen here!
Double your impact by Dec 31! Give families the gift of togetherness—donate, and it’s matched dollar for dollar. Act now for lasting change.
Find resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com.
See resources from our past podcasts.
Find more content and resources on the FamilyLife’s app!
Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify.
Check out all the FamilyLife’s podcasts on the FamilyLife Podcast Network

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Are there ways you’re shooting your own marriage in the foot? Author Ted Lowe knows 5 bad habits that could stealthily undercut all the closeness you crave–and 5 ways to stop them.
Show Notes and Resources

Connect with Ted Lowe on his website, tedlowe.com and learn more about his company marriedpeople.org
Get Ted’s book, Us in Mind in our shop
Find resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com.
See resources from our past podcasts.
Find more content and resources on the FamilyLife’s app!
Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify.
Check out all the FamilyLife podcasts on the FamilyLife Podcast Network

The post 5 Ways to Stop Sabotaging Your Marriage: Ted Lowe appeared first on FamilyLife®.

The best parts of engagement can be a little like exploring a beautiful tropical island. There’s potentially something intriguing or breathtaking or hilarious around any given corner.

To better comprehend the intricate inner workings of what makes your favorite person tick, a few games to play as a couple can challenge you to discover parts of your fiancé’s story that haven’t yet surfaced in all those 3 a.m. convos where talking felt way more exciting than sleeping.

These games make it easier to lean into the things that matter, the things that don’t, and the things that make you go “hmm.”      

5 games to play as a couple

1. Two truths and a lie.

In this classic game, each of you take turns presenting the other person with three statements about yourself in random order: two of them true, one of them a lie. Your fiance attempts to guess which statement is a lie. (Incidentally, we recommend this being the only time you lie to one another. Full stop.)

2. A Venn diagram of us.

Here’s one of those quick, back-of-a-napkin games to play as a couple while passing time together—say, waiting for your dish at a restaurant, feet-on-the-dashboard on a road trip, or in a waiting room for your premarital counseling.

Draw two large intersecting circles. One circle represents him; one circle represents her. The intersecting football-shaped space represents the ways the two of you overlap.

Maybe she’s into hiking and he’s into cooking, but you’re both into cars. Maybe you both love coffee, but she’s definitely a decaf girl, and he can drink any cup o’ joe as long as it’s black.

Or take it a level further, and consider a topic like your childhoods or families. Perhaps one of you never moved houses, and one of you moved constantly—but you both stayed in your home state. Or neither of you is close to your parents, but one of you is close to a sister, and the other to a grandfather.

This game is a simple way to begin exploring the subcultures of your backgrounds. Try out topics like holidays, elementary school experiences, your ethnic heritage. 

3. Amped-up Jenga.

On each of the blocks in that dusty game of Jenga in your closet, tape slips of paper with each one of the questions below. (You could simply print them, cut them in strips, and tape them on.) Then stack up Jenga as usual. When one of you withdraws a block, if there’s a question on it, that person needs to answer the question before placing it on top of the stack.

Questions:

• What’s one dream you have for our future?
• What’s been on your mind lately?
• What’s God been doing in you lately?
• What’s something you haven’t been able to get out of your head this week?
• Tell one meaningful thing someone said to you (not necessarily a compliment).
• What do you pray for most often?
• Have any recurring dreams at night? What are they about?
• What’s one way I could be in your corner right now?
• What quality in a person do you immediately find magnetic?
• What quality in a person do you immediately find off-putting?
• What’s one time in your life you felt close to God?
• When you’re at the end of your life, what would one indicator of “success” be?
• Describe yourself in five words. Go.
• Name three adjectives you sometimes wish you were but aren’t.
• Where, when, and with whom do you feel most at home?
• What’s one thing could I do, practically speaking, to be a true friend to you?
• What do you wish people could understand about you?
• What quality for you is hardest to understand when you see it in a person?
• What’s one activity that makes you feel alive?

4. A prop from my life.

On your next coffee date, each of you brings an object that represents something you want to tell your fiancé that they don’t know about you yet. Maybe it’s a photograph with a great story, a toy that participated in great adventures with you and a friend or sibling, or something that reminds you of home.       

If you’d prefer to make this a little more game-like, when you show the object to your fiancé, play the part of someone introducing the object on an infomercial: This doll may be missing one eyeball, but it’s because she’s seen a lot—not all of which she’s permitted to tell you until we’ve officially tied the knot. Comes with a lovely, stained, pink dress that doubled as a napkin for peanut-butter sandwiches… 

5. (In case it’s not obvious) The Newlywed Game.

No list of games to play as a couple would be complete without it. And spoiler: You don’t actually have to be a newlywed for this one. Pull out these questions for a date-in one night when you could use a few laughs and maybe a Whaaat?!

Directions for game play

1. Print two copies of the questions for each of you.
2. The female writes answers to Round 1 questions about herself first. The male answers the Round 1 questions about what he thinks she wrote.
3. The goal is to guess correctly what the other person would say—not what you think. For example, if the question is, “Between the two of you, who is messiest?”, the goal is not to be the least messy person, or to prove you’re right. The goal is to have written (closely enough) the answer the other person wrote.
4. Repeat the process with him answering Round 2 questions about himself, and his fiancée answering the same questions with what she thinks he wrote.
5. Having fun? Play it again, swapping roles for Rounds 1 & 2.  

Round 1 Questions

1. What is this person’s worst habit?
2. What is this person’s favorite indulgent snack?
3. You’re at a new-to-you restaurant. How does this person decide what to order?
4. What is this person’s shoe size?
5. What is this person’s favorite pizza topping?
6. Of the two of you, who has better handwriting?
7. What is this person’s favorite thing to do to relax?
8. Where would this person go on vacation?
9. Which item of clothing of theirs is the weirdest?
10. What is a top item on this person’s bucket list?
11. What might this person be doing when they feel close to God? 
12. What is one way this person best displays the image of God?

Round 2 Questions

1. What is this person’s pet peeve?
2. What is this person’s favorite TV show?
3. Between the two of you, who is more klutzy?
4. What is one thing you do that drives this person bananas?
5. What is this person’s favorite dessert?
6. Of the two of you, who has better taste in clothes?
7. What is one thing the two of you could not agree on?
8. In choosing a church, what does this person hope to find?
9. What is/was this person’s favorite subject in school?
10. After you’re married, who will make the bed?
11. Apart from your marriage and honeymoon, what’s something in the next year this person may get excited about?
12. What is this person’s first memory?

The stellar news? You’ll be making discoveries on that private island of yours for the rest of your life. And like these games to play as a couple, those ahas can pack a lot of laughter and rich memories.

Whatever you do?

Keep exploring.

Copyright © 2023 Janel Breitenstein. All rights reserved.

Janel Breitenstein is an author, freelance writer, speaker, and frequent contributor for FamilyLife, including Passport2Identity®, Art of Parenting®, and regular articles. After five and a half years in East Africa, her family of six returned to Colorado, where they continue to work on behalf of the poor with Engineering Ministries International. Her book, Permanent Markers: Spiritual Life Skills to Write on Your Kids’ Hearts (Harvest House), empowers parents to creatively engage kids in vibrant spirituality. You can find her—“The Awkward Mom”—having uncomfortable, important conversations at JanelBreitenstein.com, and on Instagram @janelbreit.

The post 5 Games To Play as a Couple To Keep You Talking appeared first on FamilyLife®.

You’re not the first one who can’t wait for the wedding in order to wash your hands of wedding planning.

And though movies can cast an image of dreamy engagements, it’s not necessarily a warning sign when there’s an uptick in conflict between the two of you. (And sometimes, that can even make you wonder if you’re making the right decision. Read “When To Call It Off Before the Big Day.”) When my husband and I were engaged, our honeymoon phase ended about three months before the actual honeymoon.

That is to say, engagement is admittedly not all cake-tasting and rose petals. Grab eight fun date-night ideas to stockpile great memories and haul away stress.   

Fun Date-Night Ideas: Start Here

1. DIY art night.

Purchase inexpensive canvases, brushes, acrylic paints, or other art supplies for your own painting night. Check Pinterest for simple project ideas that, yes, even your accountant fiancé can accomplish with some level of satisfaction.

Bonus: Mix mocktails to create your own painting-with-a-twist.

2. Cook up something new.

Maybe you’ve always wanted to try making your own veggie sushi, fondue, or pierogis after that foray into Ancestry.com. Maybe you’re just noodling on that recipe from the Food Network. Either way, from the shopping to the taste-testing, make an evening out of creativity that stimulates all five senses.

Bonus: As a thank-you, make dinner for a couple who’s invested in one or both of you.

3. Read a book out loud, punctuated by a slow dance.

Casual, no-phones cuddle time? Yes, please.

Whip up some of your favorite snacks, grab your favorite drinks, and take turns reading from a book you’re both reasonably excited about.

Then, pull your fiancé in for a slow dance. (Your phone = instant DJ.) Light a candle for extra atmosphere.

Bonus: The listener could treat the reader to a foot rub.

4. Embark on a photo scavenger hunt.

Google “couples scavenger hunt,” and take photos where your chosen list suggests.

Or try ideas like these:

• The place we met.
• A house that looks fun to live in.
• The most romantic spot we drive by every day.
• Kissing at some location we’ve never kissed before.
• Our favorite date-night restaurant.
• Each of us eating our favorite flavor of ice cream.
• Sharing a food.
• Each of us doing something the other thinks we’re great at.
• Climbing a tree.
• Playing on a playground.
• A spot with a great memory.
• A place or activity that expresses each of us.

Bonus: Share a snack at the end and flip through your photos. 

5. Shall we dance?

Especially if you’ve got the coordination of a herd of cats, not every couple will find dance lessons … relaxing. But for some of you, it’s nice to step away from picking invitations, flower arrangements, and venues—or your latest argument—to laugh, work up a sweat, and step on each other’s toes.

Not sure if dancing will be your jam? Find a low-commitment option for beginners and maybe even a kind of dancing you can show off with zero pressure at the reception. 

Bonus: Create a playlist for you to practice on your own.

6. Catch a falling star.

Using an app like MeteorActive or a website like TimeandDate.com, find out when you might glimpse the next meteor shower. Pack blankets and carafes of your favorite hot drinks to set the stage for a little cuddling and stargazing.

Bonus: Read Bible verses together that talk about stars, like Daniel 12:3, Psalm 19:1, or Psalm 136:3-9. Or bring a volume of poetry to read to each other.  

7. Sink into a forest bath with a picnic on the side.

Though omitted from your typical list of fun date-night ideas, forest bathing, or in the original Japanese, shinrin-yoku, means “absorbing the forest atmosphere.” (So there’s no actual bathing, m’kay?).

Kaiser Permanente reports, “Aside from city parks, the more in-depth practice of forest bathing has been found to lower blood pressure, heart rate, and levels of harmful hormones — like cortisol, which your body produces when it’s stressed. This can help put you in a more calm and relaxed state.”

They continue, “In addition, studies have found that simply spending 10 to 20 minutes a day outdoors can lead to increased well-being and happiness — and decreased amounts of stress.”

So pack a simple picnic and find a place to surround yourself in a place green and quiet. And together, inhale.

Bonus: Gather a cluster of flowers together as you walk.

8. Let the sparks fly at the fire pit.

Roast marshmallows, cook hot dogs or hobo meals, and watch the stars.   

Bonus: Before the sun sets, toss a football or play catch for awhile. Remember what it’s like to be playful together.

Engagement doesn’t have to equal migraines and stress sweat. With a little creativity and a few fun date-night ideas in your back pocket, it may be easier than you thought to remember all over again why you’re better together.

Copyright © 2023 Janel Breitenstein. All rights reserved.

Janel Breitenstein is an author, freelance writer, speaker, and frequent contributor for FamilyLife, including Passport2Identity®, Art of Parenting®, and regular articles. After five and a half years in East Africa, her family of six returned to Colorado, where they continue to work on behalf of the poor with Engineering Ministries International. Her book, Permanent Markers: Spiritual Life Skills to Write on Your Kids’ Hearts (Harvest House), empowers parents to creatively engage kids in vibrant spirituality. You can find her—“The Awkward Mom”—having uncomfortable, important conversations at JanelBreitenstein.com, and on Instagram @janelbreit.

The post 8 Fun Date-Night Ideas for Engaged Couples appeared first on FamilyLife®.

It can feel tough…or weird…to pray together as a couple. But have you ever wondered what you might be missing out on if you don’t? Bestselling author Paul Miller digs into the why and how of creating space to look to God together.

It is wicked hard to begin to pray with your wife. I mean, this is true with most people. It’s hard for men, especially. You really have to do “believe all things, bears all things, endures all things.” That’s the secret— Paul Miller

Show Notes and Resources

Connect with Paul Miller at seejesus.net or on Instagram @seeingjesus
Get Paul’s book, A Praying Church
Take a prayer course by Paul Miller
Check out more episodes from Paul Miller 
Find resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com.
See resources from our past podcasts.
Find more content and resources on the FamilyLife’s app!
Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify.
Check out all the FamilyLife podcasts on the FamilyLife Podcast Network

The post The Couple that Prays: Paul Miller appeared first on FamilyLife®.

Could knowing God’s whole picture for intimacy rev up your sex life? Dr. Juli and Mike Slattery explore how understanding God’s character in married sex transforms your bedroom.
Faithfulness is this idea of character and trust. It’s not just sexual fidelity, but it’s trusting each other’s character that, “Hey, I’m not going anywhere. We’re in this together, even if I’m having a bad day, or we’re going through a season of marriage where we’re not communicating, we’re not giving up.” It’s that foundation of, “I can trust you”.
Show Notes and Resources

Connect with Dr. Juli Slattery at www.authenticintimacy.com and learn more about her ministry at sexualdiscipleship.com
and get a copy of her book, God, Sex, and Your Marriage
Check out more episodes from Juli Slattery
Go to familylife.com/comingsoon to sign up for the Art of Marriage live event and to be notified of when pre-orders are live!
Find resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com.
See resources from our past podcasts.
Find more content and resources on the FamilyLife’s app!
Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify.
Check out all the FamilyLife podcasts on the FamilyLife Podcast Network

The post God and Your Sex Life: Dr. Juli and Mike Slattery appeared first on FamilyLife®.

What if God gave us married sex as a picture of Himself? And how could your understanding of this picture revolutionize your sex life? Dr. Juli Slattery and her husband Mike explore mind-boggling truths of how, in an over-sexualized world, God’s ideas about sex are far more than we imagined.
Covenant is a unique relationship that’s based on a promise. It’s not based on how you feel. It’s not based on if you’re attracted to someone. It’s not based on if you’re meeting each other’s needs. That’s a contract. A covenant is, “I am promising to love you. I am promising to not leave you or forsake you.”
 
Show Notes and Resources

Connect with Dr. Juli Slattery at www.authenticintimacy.com and learn more about her ministry at sexualdiscipleship.com
and get a copy of her book, God, Sex, and Your Marriage
Check out more episodes from Juli Slattery
Go to familylife.com/comingsoon to sign up for the Art of Marriage live event and to be notified of when pre-orders are live!
Find resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com.
See resources from our past podcasts.
Find more content and resources on the FamilyLife’s app!
Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify.
Check out all the FamilyLife podcasts on the FamilyLife Podcast Network

The post God, Sex, and Your Marriage: Dr. Juli and Mike Slattery appeared first on FamilyLife®.

Author and professor Nancy Pearcey explores sociological data to uncover why it’s open season on masculinity—and the surprising role of Christian men.

It turns out the very concept that masculinity is toxic has much deeper roots than most of us realize. Most of us probably think about the ‘60s or something, with the feminist movement, second wave. No, no, no; you have to go all the way back to the Industrial Revolution.  — Nancy Pearcey

Show Notes and Resources

Connect with Nancy Pearcey on her website: nancypearcey.com
and get a copy of Nancy’s book, The Toxic War on Masculinity
Go to familylife.com/comingsoon to sign up for the Art of Marriage live event and to be notified of when pre-orders are live!
Check out more episodes from Nancy Pearcey
Check out all of Brant’s podcasts on the FamilyLife Podcast Network
Find resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com.
See resources from our past podcasts.
Find more content and resources on the FamilyLife’s app!
Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify.
Check out all the FamilyLife podcasts on the FamilyLife Podcast Network

The post Masculinity, Christianity–and the (Surprising) Truth: Nancy Pearcey appeared first on FamilyLife®.

“Brace for impact” painted my face as our realtor called and delivered the good news—we were set to close on the sale of our house! I was happy, but I immediately imagined a box truck loaded with the logistics of our family moving, speeding in the direction of Olivia and me with our 7-month-old twin girls.

Packing, organizing, and moving our belongings felt overwhelming. Add in the emotional toll of saying goodbye to our community, adjusting to a new environment, and adapting to a different routine and it all seemed like a rush of stress and anxiety.

I knew moving would not be easy, and I was right. I thought it would mean no peace for the next couple of months, and I was wrong.

Tips we’ve learned from our family moving

Relocating our whole life to a different state was an ongoing process, but so was remembering to seek Christ during the challenges we’d face. Here are five tips we’ve learned through our family moving.

1. Invite Jesus to the moving party.

No matter the reason for your family moving, there are many potential obstacles to navigate. There were many opportunities for the enemy to scheme and get Olivia and me to lose our cool during our move: We felt exhausted daily from packing decisions. Not everyone liked us moving. And did I mention our twins were 7 months in the midst of this?

Setting aside a moment to be still and asking the Lord to lead our family in the move was pivotal for starting well, but also for grounding our perspective to His when challenges came.

• Pray and ask God to give you peace during moving challenges (John 14:27).
• Consider meditating on Philippians 4:6-7: “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
• Express your trust in Jesus as you seek Him first before each decision and before you start moving (Matthew 6:33).

2. Get a “moving checklist” that works for your family and schedule.

Remember that box truck of logistics I felt rushing in our direction? Well, a good checklist paired with Philippians 4:6-7 didn’t change the speed of time, but it gave us a calm feeling while planning for its impact. 

Moving got crazy and chaotic real quick. We needed to start changing mailing addresses, making endless calls and texts to communicate with loved ones, transferring medical records, and scheduling movers—my heart is racing just remembering it all. 

A checklist helped us stay focused and gave extra safety so we didn’t miss any important tasks as a family moving. It helped us break down the whole process into manageable steps, from sorting and packing to scheduling movers and notifying utilities. Plus, checking off items on the list gave us a sense of accomplishment and reduced stress. 

Trust me, having a checklist will save you from last-minute panics and make the whole moving process smoother. So grab a pen and paper, use a cool moving app, or pull a free one online, and with prayer as your first item, let that checklist be your ultimate moving buddy. Your family will thank you later. 

3. Have family meetings. 

Though our twins weren’t at the age of talking yet, having several family meetings during our season of moving was a game changer. It’s important to mention that these were extremely informal. If you’re picturing an organized couple talking through a to-do list with finely rowed boxes and quiet babies playing, you might be picturing a different couple. That wasn’t us. 

Our home felt a mess because we were transitioning. We had to accept that. But what we didn’t accept was for our family moving to cause a disconnection. Our meetings were used to walk through to-do lists on our phones, but it was also a time to connect emotionally and communicate. 

Sometimes a move is a lot for a heart, and the enemy can leverage common challenges to pull families apart (Ephesians 6:12). Instead, we leveraged the hard season as an opportunity to care for one another in Christ, which drew us closer together. 

Here’s a handful of questions we would ask each other with a gentle heart:

• Is there anything you’d like to add to our shared moving to-do list?
• What has been your favorite memory of living here?
• Is there something you wish we were doing better in the move?
• How can we help the next part of the transition be easier for the kids? (Or ask your kids directly.)
• What’s something you wish we did more of here?
• What can we do together as a couple (or family) to make this move less stressful and more enjoyable?
• What are your hopes and dreams for our new home and neighborhood?
• Can we pray together in gratitude and need?

Our twins were babies. But if your kids are old enough, consider engaging with them on these questions too. Growing up, it meant much to me to have my parents make me feel a part of the transition process. 

4. Receive help from your community.  

As we experienced during our wedding, friends and family come in clutch during any transition, especially moving. I never knew we were surrounded by loved ones who carried a commercial driver’s license with a trucking background until I expressed a need to move a truck during our relocation. More so, the number of people who advised us to pace ourselves during a move came in handy. 

It is popular to think those in our community can only provide physical assistance with packing, lifting, and moving stuff to save money. However, their emotional support can be a gift too. Whether lending an ear to listen to your concerns, offering encouragement, or simply being there to share a laugh, having your tribe by your side makes the whole experience less overwhelming.

So with wide open arms, embrace the support from your community, lean on them when needed, and let them be a source of strength and comfort during this transition.

5. Put the good in goodbye.

Saying goodbye to old friends and family when we moved was tough. Of course, it’s completely normal to feel a mix of emotions, including sadness, nostalgia, and even hesitations about your family moving. 

Our little family shared countless memories, laughter, and tears with these loved ones, and leaving them behind was heart-wrenching. But we remembered change is a part of life. We were excited about our next phase of life, and as difficult as it may be, it also opens up new doors of opportunity and growth. Though new doors were opening, here are a few ways we walked away from old doors in love:

• When we could, we wrote “see-you-later cards,” expressing our gratitude to the relationships that meant much to us (individuals at our church, our neighbors, pediatricians, family, and friends).
• We considered throwing a get-together, but we’re heavier on the introverted side as a family. Instead, we had small dinners with a few families individually to spend intentional time with them before we moved. Some dinners were out at our house, some at theirs. 
• When we arrived at our new home, we grabbed some postcards of our new city and sent them out to let our loved ones know we had arrived safely. They loved them, and it served as a transitioning way to keep in contact. Now, we write letters!

Embrace it

Moving to a new place can easily be one of the most challenging situations a family can go through. At the time, our twins were 7 months old, and we’d never experienced moving before. Still, as we began embracing the adventure ahead, embracing the awkwardness of being in limbo, embracing the rough patches as opportunities to care more for one another, we began embracing joy in tough times, seeing more beauty in the plan God had for our journey. 

Experiencing our family moving became a lesson of embracing change, stepping out in faith, and embracing God.

Now we’re at a stage of making this new place we live feel like home, and it’s challenging too. But we’re grateful, because we’re remembering God is in control no matter where we move. He reminds us that He is here and everywhere. I can’t lie and say our family moving has been easy, but I’ve loved embracing God and witnessing Him come through beyond our comprehension. He’s the same God we’ll trust to lead us in finding a new church. 

Copyright © 2023 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.

Ashford Sonii is a writer for FamilyLife. He enjoys ministry, learning, and communicating practical life applications of God’s Word within marriage, family, and how to walk with Jesus. Ashford and his wife, Olivia, currently live in North Carolina with their twin girls, Ivey and Oakley.

The post 5 Tips We’ve Learned Through Our Family Moving appeared first on FamilyLife®.