High-conflict co-parenting is a common struggle in blended families. Ron Deal speaks with Diane Dierks & Rick Voyles on how to improve co-parenting conflict as you prioritize what you’re fighting for, change your response, & consider your kids first.
Show Notes and Resources

List of counselors
Register for Preparing to Blend
Co-parenting Dilemmas podcast
Get the Summit on Stepfamily Ministry All-Access Digital Pass.
Ron’s personal speaking schedule.
Send a gift to FamilyLife Blended.
Email a comment about this show or call to share your thoughts. blendedquestions@familylife.com or 407-826-2606

The post 123: How To Overcome Co-parenting Conflict appeared first on FamilyLife®.

When we blend two families, what’s the goal & how do we get there? Do we focus more on parenting or our marriage? Do I parent my stepchild or build a relationship first? How do we manage a difficult former spouse? Ron Deal answers these questions & more about the critical tasks of parenting in a blended family.
Show Notes and Resources

You still have time to join the Summit on Stepfamily Ministry!
The Online Certificate in Blended Family Ministry
Get monthly encouragement for your blended family
FamilyLife Blended Resources
Get the Summit All-Access Digital Pass
Email us your questions at blendedquestions@familylife.com

The post 122: Blending a Family: Where Do I Start? appeared first on FamilyLife®.

“Probably personal responsibility,” she replied, explaining that this means, “taking responsibility for your behavior and your expenditures and your actions, and not forever supposing that society must forgive you because it’s not your fault.”

The crisis facing parents today is the very one Tuchman anticipated. Parents must take responsibility for their actions as well as teaching their children to do the same.

Among adults, there is a disturbing trend to reword our actions and deeds in order to make them sound like something they aren’t. The word “affair” doesn’t sound as bad as the term “adultery.” “Sharing news” sounds much better than ” spreading gossip.” “Giving out misinformation” sounds like an innocent mistake when it replaces the phrase “lying.” The truth is we can change what we call our actions but that doesn’t change the action itself. In other words, calling a rose a daisy doesn’t make it any less a rose.

Just last week a lawyer in a neighboring community was arrested for public intoxication at the county jail. It seems the lawyer was on his way to visit a client but was arrested and charged with drunkenness. “The greater crime was not being allowed to see my client,” the lawyer said arrogantly.

Roots of the problem

Lack of personal accountability is nothing new. Remember Adam and Eve in Genesis chapter 3? They were told they could eat the fruit of any tree in the garden where they lived but one. Unable to withstand temptation, they succumbed and ate of the forbidden fruit. When God asked Adam if he had eaten from the tree he was told not to eat from Adam didn’t say, “Yes, I ate the fruit” but instead answered, “The woman you put here with me-she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” When it came time for Eve to answer for her actions she didn’t do any better. God asked her what she had done and she replied, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Adam and Eve were trying to lessen their guilt by pointing the finger at each other, but that doesn’t work with God and it shouldn’t work with parents. Romans 14:12 says, “So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.” Isn’t that reason enough to teach our children about being accountable for their actions?

Here are some practical ways you can help your children learn accountability:

1. Be a good example. Don’t fall into the “it was their fault” trap. Last week when you had a car accident and rear-ended the woman in front of you, was it really her fault or were you tailgating and you just didn’t want to admit it? Were the referees at your son’s ballgame really unfair or was the other team better? Chances are the attitude you have about your own actions will be the one that influences your children the most.

2. When your child starts to point the finger at someone else gently point out ways that their decisions influenced the outcome of the situation. For example, if they made a bad grade on a test and say “the test was too hard” or “I didn’t understand the questions, find out the reason why. Did they study enough? Did they ask for help during question and answer time? If you consistently hold them responsible for their actions they will learn they can’t take the easy way out.

3. Study biblical characters who did take responsibility for their actions. David made a series of serious mistakes but when he realized what he had done he didn’t say, “It was Bathsheba’s fault.” He said, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Maybe David’s willingness to admit his mistake is one of the reasons God called him a man after His own heart.

God gave us the perfect example to follow: His Son. If we follow in His footsteps and take responsibility for our actions, our children will do the same.

Used by permission of FamilyLife Canada. Copyright 2003.

The post Raising Responsible Kids appeared first on FamilyLife®.

When it comes to ways to disciple your kids, do Christian school or church attendance have it covered? Author Jared Kennedy extends practical ideas to pass on to your kids the hope that you have.
Show Notes and Resources

Connect with Jared Kennedy on Twitter @JaredSKennedy, or catch more of his thoughts at his website: The Gospel Centered Family
And grab his book, Keeping Your Children’s Ministry on Mission: Practical Strategies for Discipling the Next Generation
Intrigued by today’s broadcast? Download FamilyLife’s free 7-day, hands-on devotional to teach kids spiritual life skills!
Check out all the FamilyLife Mission trips happening soon
Find resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com.
Find more content and resources on the FamilyLife’s app!
Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify.
Check out all the FamilyLife podcasts on the FamilyLife Podcast Network

The post Practical Ways to Disciple Kids: Jared Kennedy appeared first on FamilyLife®.

None of us will parent perfectly, so let’s take that pressure right off our shoulders. But in parenting, we are always teaching our children—whether we model life indirectly (as they watch and then model after us) or teach directly (“This is how we do it”). We all desire to teach our children things that will make them better siblings, friends, and someday, adults.

But how do we raise compassionate kids?

As parents, we wish we could share with you the formula we used for our two daughters to grow up to be 30-something, lovely, compassionate women. But the formula wasn’t ours, it was God’s. God gave them an older brother (and He gave us a wonderful son!) with special needs.

At age 12, our oldest daughter told us that she would want to care for her brother when she grew up and we weren’t here any longer. We’re certain our own thoughts at that age would never have been in that direction—such maturity and compassion this young lady had. Our younger daughter eased more into that way of thinking … probably because she was the one he picked on most over the years! Yet, as she grew up, she and her older sister were always looking after him and paying attention to how others treated not only him, but others like him.

Compassionate kids are kids who see it modeled

We’d love to think we had steps 1-2-3 on how to raise compassionate kids, but the truth is we hope they saw us show it not only to our family, but to others in our lives.

Our goals were to help others by:

• Offering help when someone needed it.
• Showing care in public, as well as in private moments.
• Providing meals when it could ease someone’s day.
• Calling when a need was noticed and asking how it might be filled by us.
• Coming alongside others in real ways: the hospital, at appointments, etc.
• Helping others learn more about special needs and how to show compassion by learning and understanding better.

We remember a time one of the girls asked why we were taking a meal to an adult friend who had just lost her husband in a tragic death.

“Why do you think we’re doing this?” we asked.  

Our 5-year-old daughter answered, “Because we want to show her we care and we’re here for her.”

We’re all learning

We’ll all make mistakes along our parenting way, but when we purpose to teach directly and model indirectly, we have a better chance of teaching things like compassion and other character traits. If we’re all in a learning mode (parents and children), we’ll all have the opportunity to exhibit what we’ve practiced for others to learn from.

Remember, people are observing. As you consider what others are observing about what you’re teaching your children, what do you think they see? Make changes if needed, or stay the course and watch for the results down the road.

Copyright © 2023 Joe and Cindi Ferrini. All rights reserved.

Dr. Joe and Cindi Ferrini share their newest book: Love All-Ways: Embracing Marriage Together on the Special Needs Journey (order at CindiFerrini.com). They are authors, speakers, and bloggers for several blogging sites on marriage, family, and special needs. They spoke nationally for FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember marriage getaway for 20 years, authored Unexpected Journey – When Special Needs Change our Course, and have been interviewed on Focus on the Family, FamilyLife Today, Janet Parshall at “In the Market”, Chris Brooks of “Equipped” and various other radio and television venues. Connect with them at: CindiFerrini.com and via social media at: facebook.com/cindi.ferrini, http://www.facebook.com/UnexpectedJourney/, and facebook.com/MyMarriageMatters/.

The post How To Raise Compassionate Kids appeared first on FamilyLife®.

The post A Grace-filled Home: 5 Ideas, with Dane Ortlund appeared first on FamilyLife®.

Author and radio host Brant Hansen knows the taste of dirt in your teeth when you’ve tried to do what’s right as a man. He also knows how to keep showing up.
Show Notes and Resources

Find out why over 1.5 million couples have attended FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember
Find more content and resources on the FamilyLife’s app!
Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify.
Check out all the FamilyLife podcasts on the FamilyLife Podcast Network

The post How to Keep Showing Up (When You’d Rather Not): Brant Hansen appeared first on FamilyLife®.

When does a boy become a man? Author & radio host Brant Hansen weighs in on toxic masculinity, lies about manhood, and the kind of men we need.
Show Notes and Resources

Find out why over 1.5 million couples have attended FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember
Find more content and resources on the FamilyLife’s app!
Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify.
Check out all the FamilyLife podcasts on the FamilyLife Podcast Network

The post The Men We Need: Brant Hansen appeared first on FamilyLife®.

Could celebrating each child’s unique image of God help heal racial division? Speaker Chris Singleton discusses his new children’s book, Your Life Matters.

 
Show Notes and Resources

Get Your Free Downloads with Gospel in a Pumpkin
Find resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com.
Find more content and resources on the FamilyLife’s app!
Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify.
Check out all the FamilyLife podcasts on the FamilyLife Podcast Network

The post Chris Singleton: Your Life Matters appeared first on FamilyLife®.

Powerful parenting might not look like you think! Author Jeff Norris reveals habits to let go of self-reliance and embrace Jesus’ call to depend on God.

 
Show Notes and Resources

Find resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com.
Find more content and resources on the FamilyLife’s app!
Help others find FamilyLife. Leave a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify.
Check out all the FamilyLife podcasts on the FamilyLife Podcast Network

The post Jeff Norris: Powerful Parenting appeared first on FamilyLife®.